10 Truths and 1 Fat Lie

After a period of excessive productivity, public interaction and attention, I typically have a tremendous desire to get quiet and go within. I’m currently cocooning after such a period. At the beginning of the month I had the privilege of co-organizing and co-hosting Las Vegas’ first TEDxWomen event, pictured on the left. This week I saw my first cohort of Step Into Your Moxie Mastery women birth and perform their signature talks to a full house of their friends, family, colleagues, and business and community leaders. Plus, I’ve had my usual slate of speaking engagements, trainings and coaching calls.

Normally, I take the last few days of the calendar year to reflect on what has been and clear the space for what can be. But given that this time is falling earlier this year and that I’m seeking to stay true to my commitment to live as wordless as possible for a few days, this week I’m sharing some of the truths I’ve examined and feel comfortable reaffirming – as well as one former truth that I’m calling out as a lie.

1. “Practice doesn’t make perfect. Practice makes permanent.” Who you want to be as a communicator gets created through daily practice.

2. “Through the stories of others we resolve our amnesia and enter into greater connectedness with others.” Rev. Art Cribbs

3. “Going to a fearless place in your imagination will show you clearly which decisions still have fire and energy, and which lose steam without anxiety as their fuel.” – Martha Beck

4. Kindness kills everything that’s wrong in our heads and in our hearts.

5. “A woman with a voice is by definition a strong woman, but the journey to find that voice can be remarkably difficult.” – Melinda French Gates

6. If you want other people to believe in your vision, focus on communicating with the emotion that persuades them that it can and must be.

7. “Remember the difference between a boss and a leader; a boss says “Go!” and a leader says “Let’s go!” – E.M. Kelly

8. Honest communication takes the poison out of even the most unthinkable of situations.

9. You don’t pray for a particular outcome. You pray for the wisdom to honor the lessons to be learned from experiencing the outcome.

10. Everything becomes clearer after a good night’s sleep.

And here’s the fat lie.

For years I’ve lived by the mantra, “your health is everything.” Which is dangerous, because it sets you up to unravel if and when you don’t have your health. Or when you consider the possibility that you might not.

For the last 6 weeks I have grappled with the possibility that I might have cancer. And while I’m pleased to share that I don’t, at least not at this stage of my life, I’m very much not pleased with who I became in far too many moments when I considered the possibility of what would happen if I did.

Your communication with yourself creates your reality. As Buddha is attributed with saying, “With our thoughts we make the world.” We must question everything we live and hold up as a truth. Even the filter questions we set-up to protect ourselves.

My health isn’t everything. But my self-talk is. 

What are your truths? Which ones do you know…for sure? And which ones do you think you know but realize don’t serve you when communicated as absolutes?

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9 Comments

  1. Posted December 13, 2012 at 6:44 pm | Permalink

    This is powerful Alexia. I’d send you love and light but you already exude so much. :) Love you, girl!

  2. Posted December 13, 2012 at 7:39 pm | Permalink

    In my short 33 years I have learned some of those very same lessons as well as taught a few.
    The big fat lie I am always telling myself is “I am not qualified enough”
    My health has never really been good and I have learned to adapt so well most people are baffled to find out I am at all disabled. Your health is not everything, but it is a blessing.
    Two years ago when Dr. told me I might have M.S. I was devastated at first. Then after feeling really sorry for myself I researched how to heal yourself and I found positive psychology. I went deep into the world and read many books and lectures. The one thing I got out of it was every day I wake up is a blessing. I would make the choice everyday to accept the blessing that I could still use my legs. That year I started making a list of everything I always “Wished I could do” and started doing it. I began hiking nearly every weekend. The benefit of positive thinking and actively making better choices has set me up for success. I lost 65 lbs and still losing. I have slowly weaned myself off all prescriptions I was on and started choosing a plant based diet.
    I wish you the best health for 2013 and beyond and I know you will overcome anything in front of you! You are a warrior just like me!

  3. Posted December 13, 2012 at 11:30 pm | Permalink

    @EmilyBennington I adore you, and I will gladly take whatever light you send my way. When’s the official release date? Let’s chat about how I can help get the word out to my peeps.

    @Regina Every day you wake up is a blessing to so many people, especially me. Yes, sister, we are warriors. And warriors are worthy. And smart. And the world is hungry for our insight.

  4. Posted December 13, 2012 at 11:34 pm | Permalink

    I love this -> “My health isn’t everything. But my self-talk is.”

    Thank you for this beautiful post Alexia. Sending you my best during this time of cocooning and visioning for 2013. Can’t wait to see what you cook up!

  5. Posted December 14, 2012 at 12:56 am | Permalink

    @SelenaSoo Thanks. I can’t wait to share. And listen. What a year 2012 has been for you, and I know that in 2013 you are going to scale big time!

  6. Posted December 14, 2012 at 2:39 am | Permalink

    Alexia! Absolutely love these truths. I also love how in all your writing and speaking that I have yet had the pleasure of experiencing, your authenticity shines through just as it does in this post.

  7. Posted December 14, 2012 at 5:13 pm | Permalink

    @Sabra Thank you for the acknowledgement. I strive to be 100 percent me at all times!

  8. Kimberly Labar
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 6:35 pm | Permalink

    Alexia…..

    I have been thinking so much about beautiful you. I can not tell you how grateful I am to hear you are healthy and cancer free. What a wonderful gift to share this good news with everyone.
    Happy Happy Holidays to you and Steve.

    Kimberly

  9. Posted December 14, 2012 at 7:03 pm | Permalink

    @KimberlyLabar Thank you and Chuck for your prayers! This indeed is a great Christmas present – the final biopsy result as well as the personal growth that has come from the experience.

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