professional speaking

Specialness Kills Professional Speaking Success

AlexiaPublic Speaking

In part two of my Speaking Success Truth Bomb Series, I’m calling malarkey on one of the number one objections I hear for why someone can’t follow one of my recommendations. It’s the ole, I’m a special snowflake excuse.

You ARE a special snowflake.

I AM a special snowflake.

We ALL are special snowflakes.

We are unique, wondrous beings with unique, wondrous messages to share in the world.

And as such, we all must ultimately align best practices with our passion and intuition and take full ownership of our choices with our speaking, in business, and in life.


If we reject the notion that there can be systems, operational procedures, and structures that can accelerate our speaking, business, and thought leadership success, we are constantly reinventing wheels that have been manufactured for years.

If you have caught yourself thinking to yourself, or saying aloud, that you are a special snowflake and that experts’ recommendations won’t work for you, ask yourself: What is causing my special snowflakeitis?

Is it:

1) The expert’s recommendations feel “off” to me.

Perhaps the expert’s language and teachings are manipulative, or s/he hasn’t actually applied her recommendations in her own work. Maybe word out there in the interwebs is that what the expert preaches is outdated or simply doesn’t work.

If that’s the case, look elsewhere for support. Resist the temptation to say [coaching/consulting/pitching/booking gigs/securing press] can’t work for me because I’m so special.

Or might it be:

2) I’m using specialness as protection.

Identifying ourselves as special protects us from going after visibility—and from the possible (and usually unlikely) outcome that we’ll fail.

I get number two, because I struggled with it for years.

I’d go after the safe speaking gigs—telling myself my message wasn’t mainstream enough for more high-profile ones.

I rejected the idea of making offers (and inviting people in my audiences to work with me) because I believed, or at least told myself I believed, that I couldn’t integrate soul with sales.

I also refused to create a system for how I went after my speaking gigs—alternating between submitting anonymous submissions online and creating vision boards with my ideal stages (and then sitting back drinking my green juice waiting for event organizers to show up in my inbox with invitations to speak).

One of my clients recently told me, Lex, you are so good at seeing each and every one of the women you work with—AND, you are super direct about how to break down speaking, business, and thought leadership goals into small, actionable steps.

If you want to learn how to make speaking profitable AND cultivate rockstar speaking content and presence, join my tribe below to receive ongoing tips, resources, and training opportunities.

Curious about Speaking Truth Bomb 1? Click here to find out more.