How much spotlight can you stand? (join me for a FREE event)

AlexiaCoaching, Communication, Happiness, Public Speaking

Last week I did something very uncharacteristically Lex. I bought a purse. A name brand purse. A purse that totalled more than my last three or four purses combined.

And it made me deeply uncomfortable. I first saw the purse a few months ago during what happened to be one of my highest earning months of the year, and I recall saying to myself, That’s not worth it. So I kept walking.

But that purse haunted me – in a good way.

As I started working with my image consultant, Kathleen Audet, we quickly agreed it was time to up level multiple components of my style – including handbags. And together we looked at numerous beautiful bags yet something kept me from going back to that first purse. And numerous times during the period I returned to those same words. Not worth it.

Which of course was masking a much more dangerous phrase. I am not worth it.

Now to be clear, I do not usually equate my value based on a purse, a car, the number of people I enroll in a program or anything else external. As I’ve developed the women and men in my tribe, I’ve strived to stay in integrity and develop myself. This means I’m diligent about shining a light on my values, behaviors and strengths and lauding myself for who I am and how I am showing up in the world.

Yet one area where clearly I’ve still been ripe for development – believing I am worthy of investment.

In January 2017, it will be exactly ten years since I started coaching. Yet it took me seven years to make a sizable investment in my business (which, because it was a sound one, paid me back many times over in the three years since). For many of my clients, the belief I am not worth it coexists alongside the belief I am not worthy of being seen.

This is another limiting belief I’m crazily familiar with. It’s the one that led me to “puff up” whenever I was in front of an audience for so many years. It’s the one that prompted me to regale the people listening to me with a laundry list of client success stories, and it’s the same belief that prevented me from engaging in the vulnerable storytelling that has been a hallmark of my speaking since I reset my coaching business and reemerged as a communication and leadership coach.

When I first shared with some friends and colleagues several years back that I was developing an online coaching and training program for transformational speakers (what would become Your Spotlight Talk), I was told, “But Lex, I (or my clients) can’t even think about creating a spotlight talk until I (we) get comfortable with the idea of visibility.”


Visibility requires the fundamental core belief that what we have to say matters and that we are worthy of being seen.

Visibility requires belief that what we have to say matters & that we're worthy of being seen. Click To Tweet

The good news is that even if we don’t default to such a belief system, we can develop the mindset, skillset and relationships with opportunity-centered people (who are conspiring for our success) in order to make such a belief system our new reality.

The first week of January 2017 I’m launching a FREE 10-Day Step into the Spotlight Challenge for new (and seasoned) speakers who are so ready to create the personal foundation for speaking success, get clear on the message they want to share in the world, and explore opportunities for getting themselves on big stages to grow their tribe, connect with their ideal clients and add meaningful revenue to their businesses.

Through a combination of actionable exercises, LIVE virtual master classes, speaker meditations and laser group coaching sessions, Challenge participants will be set up to start (or scale) their speaking in the New Year!

Click here to claim your spot!

“Do you truly believe in the worthiness of your dreams? Do you truly think they are worth the consistent effort required to make them manifest? Once you truly believe, nothing can stop you but yourself, for such belief is the same power which creates and maintains all existence.” 

I love, love, love this quote from Stephen Richards, and I hope you do too!

Wishing you and yours a wonderful holiday season. And I’d love to kick-off the New Year with you in my new Challenge if visibility, speaking content creation and booking gigs are goals for you in 2017.